Common Misconceptions about Martianism.

1) Martians are space Johos.

This is simply not the case at all, space Johos are a stupid cult/poo-poo religion, and only have any success converting anyone when they attach a space brain-sucker-leach to their head. Space Johos don’t believe in the Gods, and they don’t have the Book of Martian.

2) The Book of Martian is just nonsense.

Again, not the case; The Book of Martian is the only perfectly correct book in existence. It contains the fullness of all knowledge in the universe, and because of this many portions are written in a highly sophisticated code to keep that knowledge out of the wrong hands. Why do you think that heathen-gentile scientists read it in secret? Would they waste their time with it if it was nonsense? They are trying to steal the secrets, and it is frustrating, but sometimes they are successful and use it to make inventions. This is one of the strongest evidences of the Book of Martian.

3) Martianism is Specist.

If this was the case would we spend so much time trying to convert heathen-gentiles of different species? Martianism is an interstellar, indeed intergalactic, religion and is open to all sentient beings, organic OR synthetic. One of the reasons that some call the Church specist is because of sometimes misunderstood passages in the Book of Martian about the apostate brothers of Nelph being cursed with green skin. But what they err upon is that the descendents of the brothers of Nelph were promised that if they repented and followed the Prophets they would bare white-skinned human children. Thus it is a teaching of the unity of all species. Another thing that is sometimes held against the Church is that some of the statements made by earlier Prophets can be taken out of context to mean that they were anti-reptilian. Their comments have to be taken in the context of their time. Many humans held anti-reptilian feelings during the beginning of the space era, and really there were no revelations from the Grand High Council of the Gods about the subject, it was sort of just the personal opinions of some of the Gods. Sometimes too Prophets speak as the mouthpiece of the Gods and other times just as themselves. That is why we need continuing Prophet guidance, to help us re-read the older Prophets writings in the light of modern Prophetic teaching. Basically, all you need to do is follow the current Prophet, as long as you are doing that you won’t be held accountable for any mistakes he might hypothetically make. But the truth is that he can’t make mistakes or else the Gods would remove him from his position by killing him. That is what determines the timing of the prophet’s death sometimes, is that if the Gods know he is about to make a mistake, they just kill him before he does.

4) The Prophets make mistakes.

They don’t make mistakes; See above.

5) There is no evidence of Martianism.

This is a really stupid misconception. There is a ton of evidence for Martianism. For example: the Book of Martian tells us it is true… BLAM! Martianism is true. The End, AMEN. But if you wanted more evidence than that, just look at the Prophets, they talk to the Gods all the time, and the Gods tell them that Martianism is correct… BLAM! Martianism is correct! Want more!? I could go on all day with flawless proof of Martianism. But the best way to know the truth of Martianism is to just ask any Member of the Church to tell you if it is true or not, they should know since they are in it. They’ll tell you it is (unless they are apostates)! BLAM! AMEN! Like I say, it’s true, don’t fight it, I mean come on, why would you want to fight the will of the Gods anyway?

6) The Secret Martian Rituals involve human sacrifice.

This is a rather complex topic to try to address, since we Martian Church Members who have received either S.M.R Express© or S.M.R3.0© are under a strict unbreakable penalty-oath to reveal neither part nor portion of the ritual to anyone, organic or synthetic. But what we can say is that this concern typically is based on some of the teachings and policies of the former Prophet Gorgon the Wrinkly, which turned out later to be only a test of the faithfulness of the Martian Saints to see if they would do anything that the Gods asked them to do.

7) Martianism might be ok, but it’s definitely not for me.

Not true. Martianism is for everyone. And if you don’t join the Gods will pünish you.