Because the last FAQ was tainted by faithless heathen-gentilism, The Outer-Glonkonia Space Mission now presents this more perfect Q&A session to make thine understandings of the true doctrines of martianism more pure and faithfull unto the end.
Q) Aren't heathen-gentiles stupid when they don't listen to the Martian Missionaries, have faith in Martianism, repent of their sins, and be babtized?
A) No, unfortunately the situation is even more dire than that. The truth is that the reason they are not able to see the clear truths of Martianism is because their eyes have been blinded by the Satan-Sneakafüsse©. Their only hope to avoid the blinding influence of Satan-Sneakafüsse© is to read the Book of Martian and ponder it in their hearts, and follow the Martian Prophet, and pay their tithing to the Church.
Q) How much does a Book of Martian cost?
A) We want everyone to have the opportunity to read the Book of Martian. You can have one for free if you contact the Martian Missionaries in your area, listen to their discussions, repent of your sins, be babtized, pay your tithing, and follow the prophet.
Q) Is it true that being a member of the Martian Church makes you more successful?
A) Yes! In fact it makes you better in every way; better looking, make more money, happier family life, and best of all you have the peace of mind knowing that you have all the information you need in life, and you don't need to look anywhere else for answers to any of your questions. Martianism takes care of all of the needs that anybody could possibly want. If you wanted more you would be sinning.
Q) Many false churches that I know of say that Robots don't have souls and so they won't let any robots become members of their false churches. What does The Martian Church teach about Robot Salvation?
A) Everyone who is accountable before the Gods is allowed to join The True Church and be saved, if they will repent and be babtized, pay tithing and follow the Prophet. Robots with hardware/software that is compatable with the Martian Doctrines are welcome to apply for membership. The Prophets have defined accountability as "the ability to earn money, and thereby sin. Necessitating the need to pay tithing." In many star systems there are Robots who are free-agent participants in the economy, have jobs, and make money. Those Robots are certainly in need of salvation, and we actively proslyte them. Additionally there are many robots who are involved in sinful practices, and they have the need to repent, and be babtized. Robot babtizm© is one of the unique principles that is a testament to the veracity of Martianism. Also, many Robots are attracted to the doctrine of babtism© for and in behalf of obsolete Robots that were the precedent/ancestors/prototypes of modern Robots.
Q) What about Anti-Martianism? I've heard that they are just evil and unnaturally mean. Is that correct?
A) Yes, sadly, they are motivated by a soul destroying hatred of everything that is good. They try and come across as though they are happy and sincerely are trying to help you, but deep inside they just want you to be miserable like themselves. The Prophets have told us to stay away from Anti-Martians, especially if they are relatives, because Anti-Martianism is like the Space-Zombie-Plague and is highly contagious.
Q) Thank you for all the really wonderful information. I feel very warm in my abdominal cavity/reactor core and feel that Martianism is true. Can I repent and be babtized?
A) Yes, we would love to have you join The Church of the Martian Saints Incorporated and be saved. Contact the Missionaries in your area; you will be very happy you did. Amen
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