Our Beloved Prophet Tammuz S. Monsterson

Common Misconceptions about Martianism.

1) Martians are space Johos.

This is simply not the case at all, space Johos are a stupid cult/poo-poo religion, and only have any success converting anyone when they attach a space brain-sucker-leach to their head. Space Johos don’t believe in the Gods, and they don’t have the Book of Martian.

2) The Book of Martian is just nonsense.

Again, not the case; The Book of Martian is the only perfectly correct book in existence. It contains the fullness of all knowledge in the universe, and because of this many portions are written in a highly sophisticated code to keep that knowledge out of the wrong hands. Why do you think that heathen-gentile scientists read it in secret? Would they waste their time with it if it was nonsense? They are trying to steal the secrets, and it is frustrating, but sometimes they are successful and use it to make inventions. This is one of the strongest evidences of the Book of Martian.

3) Martianism is Specist.

If this was the case would we spend so much time trying to convert heathen-gentiles of different species? Martianism is an interstellar, indeed intergalactic, religion and is open to all sentient beings, organic OR synthetic. One of the reasons that some call the Church specist is because of sometimes misunderstood passages in the Book of Martian about the apostate brothers of Nelph being cursed with green skin. But what they err upon is that the descendents of the brothers of Nelph were promised that if they repented and followed the Prophets they would bare white-skinned human children. Thus it is a teaching of the unity of all species. Another thing that is sometimes held against the Church is that some of the statements made by earlier Prophets can be taken out of context to mean that they were anti-reptilian. Their comments have to be taken in the context of their time. Many humans held anti-reptilian feelings during the beginning of the space era, and really there were no revelations from the Grand High Council of the Gods about the subject, it was sort of just the personal opinions of some of the Gods. Sometimes too Prophets speak as the mouthpiece of the Gods and other times just as themselves. That is why we need continuing Prophet guidance, to help us re-read the older Prophets writings in the light of modern Prophetic teaching. Basically, all you need to do is follow the current Prophet, as long as you are doing that you won’t be held accountable for any mistakes he might hypothetically make. But the truth is that he can’t make mistakes or else the Gods would remove him from his position by killing him. That is what determines the timing of the prophet’s death sometimes, is that if the Gods know he is about to make a mistake, they just kill him before he does.

4) The Prophets make mistakes.

They don’t make mistakes; See above.

5) There is no evidence of Martianism.

This is a really stupid misconception. There is a ton of evidence for Martianism. For example: the Book of Martian tells us it is true… BLAM! Martianism is true. The End, AMEN. But if you wanted more evidence than that, just look at the Prophets, they talk to the Gods all the time, and the Gods tell them that Martianism is correct… BLAM! Martianism is correct! Want more!? I could go on all day with flawless proof of Martianism. But the best way to know the truth of Martianism is to just ask any Member of the Church to tell you if it is true or not, they should know since they are in it. They’ll tell you it is (unless they are apostates)! BLAM! AMEN! Like I say, it’s true, don’t fight it, I mean come on, why would you want to fight the will of the Gods anyway?

6) The Secret Martian Rituals involve human sacrifice.

This is a rather complex topic to try to address, since we Martian Church Members who have received either S.M.R Express© or S.M.R3.0© are under a strict unbreakable penalty-oath to reveal neither part nor portion of the ritual to anyone, organic or synthetic. But what we can say is that this concern typically is based on some of the teachings and policies of the former Prophet Gorgon the Wrinkly, which turned out later to be only a test of the faithfulness of the Martian Saints to see if they would do anything that the Gods asked them to do.

7) Martianism might be ok, but it’s definitely not for me.

Not true. Martianism is for everyone. And if you don’t join the Gods will pünish you.

Happiness precedes the pünishment.

Many Heathen-gentile-beasts say “I’m happy with my beliefs” when we tell them they need to hear the Missionary Lessons. Why would they say such an absurd thing? Why would you be happy with your filthy and false beliefs!? If I was not member of the Martian Church I would live in constant dread of the pünishment that would befall me for not believing in Martianism and trying to find happiness in Gentilism.

The Great Prophet explained the reason why the Gods’ pünishment of nonbelievers is so fierce; “Verily there is a pünishment that is affixed in opposition to the happiness, yea as a balance to maintain the order of the Gods. For many are those who would gain happiness through abomination, and joy through worldliness. Therefore it is meet that the Gods would pünish them for their happiness, yea, even so ye may know that when you chance upon a happy heathen-gentile ye may know his pünishment is sure and dreadful, lo even unto the doom of the darkness and gnashing of the bad-place which is likened unto an everlasting lava pit of doom. Pity the heathen-gentiles, nurture them with the good faith, expose yourselves to them spiritually, and save their souls from the pünishment laid in store for them.”

This is why your personal happiness is not a measure of your correctness before the Gods! Neither is so called “logic” or “reason,” as these are tricks used by the Satan-Sneakafüsse© who does plant such ideas of happiness into the hearts of many with sin and that which is abominable unto the Gods.

The Gods have the fullness of knowledge, and when we die they will explain fully all the things that we do not understand, we must not think we can have a full understanding of things the way they are while we are mortals! We must simply have faith in the words of the Prophets and wait until we die.

I laugh at the so called “science” of the heathen-gentiles, they will never come close to a true understanding of reality. Why do you think so many of them are unbelievers? That proves that they are wrong, and in fact they are deceivers! Because they secretly study from the Book of Martian and steal from the coded portions for their “inventions” and then try and claim the credit for there abominable heathen-gentile scientism. This was proven by a great Martian researcher-investigator when he showed that the lines of code used to program computers and robots appears like unto gibberish just like the coded portions of the Book of Martian appear to be gibberish! How can anyone not see the truth of Martianism!? It is so plain! The Gods must have a special pünishment laid up in store for the heathen-gentile scientist-deceivers, for they are a great hindrance to the work of the Gods.

The Holiness and Sacredness of Music

Slim Greens is probably the most famous Glonk who considered joining the Martian Church. He is really popular on his home planet, and his music is considered to be marginally good by some music critics. The Martian Missionaries intend to convert him no matter what! By word, or by zword if necessary. If Slim Greens was a member would you be interested in joining the Church then?

If you enjoy music you would definitely enjoy going to the Martian Church. We play music and sing for part of our meetings. Martian Church music is unanimously considered to be the best music in the universe. It has been known to move people to tears. The singing of our choir is like a harem of angelic beings and will lift your mind/soul/program to new euphoric heights. The emotional power of the sacerdotal services will take you to depths of guilt-trance that you have never experienced before, and make you a better person for getting rid of your sin burdens.

Music is likened unto a prayer unto the Gods. That is why it is so important to only listen to Martian Church music. Because, would you want to pray the filthy lyrics of your favorite gentile-heathen-songs to the Gods? If you were talking to a being of such glorified holiness and purity that he made you feel guilty for just being organic and mortal (or synthetic and oily/dirty) would you want to talk to him about the filth of the world like drugs, reproduction, memetics or violence? Hopefully that would make you feel so ashamed that you would want to throw yourself into the oblivion of a Black-Hole! The pünishment of the Nizlak-worm’s entrails would be like sweet paradise compared to the humiliating horror and despair you would experience if the Gods came down and you were listening to anything but Martian Church hymns. Just imagine that guilt and shame you would feel in the presence of the Gods and plant it like a seed in your mind, water it, dung it and tend it carefully, make sure it gets plenty of sunlight and make sure no bugs eat it and no other plant-ideas choke it out.

If this completely true and correct information has had any effect on your hard heart/oil pump then we want you to know that the Gods want you to be happy. The joy that they want to give to you can only be received if you obey the Prophets, repent of your sins, be babtized, and pay your tithing. The joy of perfect obedience to the Prophets is actually so great that you cannot receive it in mortality; it would make your brain/circuits explode! That is why the Gods hold the joy in a special lock-box up in the Martian Heavens, so that after you die and are immortal they can give it to you! The Gods’ plan is perfect and they have thought of everything! Isn’t that awesome!? So the promise is sure that if you obey the prophets perfectly you can trust that you will get the joy after you die.

We hope that you will come and join in the chorus of our loving and accepting fellowship and enjoy the full blessings that Martianism has to offer you. These things I say unto you, Amen.

May the Holy Martian Saints bless you all.

The Gods say unto you "Teach ye Our GoodSpell©"

We members of The Church of the Martian Saints Incorporated© are under a strict commandment from the Gods to actively seek out and indoctrinate the Heathen-Gentile-Beasts. Whenever someone looks us in the eye we should take the opportunity to missionatize them, and we should expose ourselves to them spiritually, letting them know of our vibrant faith in the Martian Church.

If you are one of the faithful who obeys the commandment to always carry a copy of the Book of Martian with you, you should always carry it in the open, preferably reading it, so that you can be as a sign of faith to those around you, and always be ready to preach to the unbeliever-beasts. The Prophets have promised us that if we read the Book of Martian at all times no matter what else we are doing; walking, flying, operating machinery, performing medical operations; as long as we are reading with true intent, we will be protected and whatever else we are doing will be successful. What an amazing promise!

After the Elder Martian Saint-Prophet Nelph arrived on the Promised Planet of Mars and he found none there to be proselyted he exclaimed "Oh, wretched Organic-Human-Ape-Creature that I am! For while I have been commanded to preach, smite and babtize the inhabitants of this Promised Planet, lo, verily there are none here for me to do so with. Verily I am cursed of the Gods. Mine sins must have been before their many eyes/optical receptors, for they have seen fit to give me a commandment that I cannot yet fulfill. I know that mine brotheren have gone outside of the walls of our Holy Dome and have been cursed with the sore cursing of green skin, but I am even more cursed because I cannot preachify to any but these rocks. Would that the Gods would make these rocks to become quickened and sentient that I might convert them to the GoodSpell, then I might receive the rest to my soul that I seek for these many years."

Of course Nelph's prayer truly was heard of the Gods and he was able to teach to many of the robot-probes that he found, and he received a testimony that his preaching was heard of them, that the Robot-Probes did indeed believe in his words, and that his efforts were acceptable to the Gods.

Why can't we all demonstrate the faith of Nelph? Why is it that even though we are so blessed as to live around other sentient beings we feel uncomfortable with exposing ourselves to them spiritually? Do we not believe in the words of St. Slimert the Wise who said "Verily I say unto you, #badagat^*-zing-#^<.>~woobie~`'badagada/balagat**-_-_+, and also wherever you are, that is where you must preach, smite and babtize, for verily the Gods have placed you there to be as their slave messengers unto the fulfilling of their words, !..{zadal} nannoooot. And if ye know of any, I say again, any, that are not converted unto our faith, ye must pursue them as the great Hunter-God Zlazbuulog and either convert them, or kill***slidow#*wadd, zootzoot"

This passage is so important that it is written partially in the highly sophisticated sacred/secret-code of the Great Prophet which is a sign of just how serious the Gods want us to take our sacred mission to preachify unto the as-yet unconverted.

And how marvelous the GoodSpell© is to those who receive it. How well have you received it? This has to be measured by how many beings you have brought into the Church. For it is too selfish to be seeking in thy own mind to understand these things, the blessing of spreading Martianism should be enough to anyone who is truly seeking to be obedient to the Gods. These things I say unto you, AMEN.

President Gorgon The Wrinkly: a tribute

Gorgon The Wrinkly passed away recently. It is a very sad occasion for The Church of the Martian Saints Incorporated©. Not only have we lost our beloved president/dictator-beast-for-life, but we have also lost a friend.

During his inspired reign the church has reached many lightyearmarkers and made many inspired directional changes.

The faith of the Martian Church grew considerably under his auspices, through his various revelation-proclamation-decrees including; The Proclamation on Units of Intra-Species Sexually Reproductive Social-Organisms, The Manifesto Destineo©, Hermaphrodite Extermination Order, and Official Declaration on Robot Evolution©. He was also in office to oversee important policy changes such as Robot Ancestry Database Research, and the inspired Amendment to Hermaphrodite Extermination Order; Hermaphrodite Toleration Exhortation, as well as the further development to Secret Martian Ritual, such as S.M.R Express©, and S.M.R3.0© for Robots.

His rise to power punctuated the end of the much complained about Human Hegemony over the Church, and also the end of the poisonous Anti-Reptilian sentiment that was such a hindrance to the work of the Church. Surely the Gods' hands are over all motions of history, and it was according to their will and master plan that the Reptilian Empire Annexed/Occupied so many of the Martian Church's planetary colonies. For surely these events prepared the way for the Gods to raise up Gorgon the Wrinkly to heights in the Church that otherwise would have been denied to him.

As Gorgon put it, "Surely this occasion (the coup that installed him into the Church Presidency) marks a new chapter in the growth and development of the Church. The former Human hegemony has been an obstacle to the Church's progress in many quadrants of the galaxies. And now, the Gods have appointed me as a token of their commitment to all sentient beings that they are to be ruled from a single centralized power structure which will put an end to the tumultuous struggles that mar these galaxies."

Who can forget when the whole of the Martian faithful waited in anticipation to learn the will of the Lords when Gorgon announced the change in temple design from Pyramid style to Underground-Fortress style in preparation for the new developments in Secret Martian Ritual that the Gods wished to reveal to the Church. And when Gorgon announced the new aspects included Human Sacrifice, there were many who's faith was lacking and apostatized from the Church.

But the marvelous plans of the Gods rolled forward and, fortunately, when the revelation was ratified and sustained by the Church the Gods revealed through Gorgon that it had all been a test, and that instead of being used for Human Sacrifice the new Underground-Temple-Fortresses would be gateways into the Martian Heavens. And surely it is so, as evidenced by the large numbers of Church members who have gone into the new Temples and never came back out. After having been to the Martian Heavens who would want to come back?

What a glorious blessing that the faithful have received, while those who were too weak to receive it apostatized and will never receive those blessings, but will be thrust into everlasting blackness and darkness.

Perhaps what Gorgon will best be remembered for is his amazing examples of faith in leadership of the Church through times of crisis. When it was discovered that the Church sponsored Hospitals were being used to illegally harvest Human body parts to be sold to black market occult food stores, Gorgon received a revelation from the Gods about who was responsible. It was of course an Apostate-Organic-Human-Ape-Creature who worked at the Church-Records-Headquarter-Office-Starship, which the Gods told Gorgon to have destroyed. Gorgon's faith was so strong that, even though his own company -Human Carcass Disposal Services Interstellar©- was also located onboard that ship, Gorgon still obeyed the Gods and ordered his private mercenary army to destroy the ship with all aboard.

May we all learn from Gorgon's example and obey the commandments of the Gods unhesitatingly and without question. And may we also grow in faithfulness and obedience to the new Prophet-President/Dictator-For-Life-Beast, Tammuz S. Monsterson. Verily I say unto you Amen.

Many have been called...

... but few have chosen... to follow the OGSM blog!

Those who have been true and faithfull unto the following of the blog shall be blessed even nigh unto the prayers for those blessings of the Martian Saints who have recieved the fullness of the everlasting blessings.

Those who have deemed it as a thing of naught to follow the blog shall be SMOTEN yea, verily they shall be thrust into the everasting fury of the mighty, holier than thou, wrath and judgement of the Martian Saints, to be trampled upon even until the end of the period appointed, which is grevious to be borne.

And Insomuch as I say it unto one, yea even the least of thee, I say unto you all, even nigh unto the greatest among thee; repent of thine sins, follow this the OGSM blog, and be babtized. That ye may come unto the herd and pay thine tithing. That thine sins and thine money be forgiven and sanctified unto the fulfilling of the promises made unto the faithful of thine fathers.

Behold I know thy thoughts, how they are drawn to thine own life exceeding too much. Yea, I say that thou hast cared too much for thine own cares. Let these things not trouble thee, but let thine disobedience to the commandment of blog following trouble thee. Yea, tremble and quake at the sight of this blog, for it is as a sign and a memorial unto thee, e'en unto the end of the four quarters of the earths.

Insomuch as it has been written, so let it be that it shall come to pass. I say unto you, Amen.

Martian Religious Relics: Glonkite Peep-Stone

The Glonite Peep-Stone was discovered by Elders Sorenson and Zeek. Sorenson claims that it once belonged to the Martian Saint "Slimert the Wise," who is a prophet mentioned in the Book of Martian as one of the descendants of the brothers of Nelph.

Usefull as a trance inducing catalyst, the Glonkite Peep-Stone gives visions of anything related to the Glonk species. Sorenson has used it to gain glimpses into the Glonk Heavens as well as Glonk Outer-Purgatory-Darkness.

Elders of the OGSM: Stellarson and Schmultz

Elder Stellarson, a Human-Ape-Creature (the one with brown fur on his head), is the distric leader-beast in the mission district to which Elder Sorenson is assigned. He is proud to come from a long line of Martians, going back to the time of the formation of the Church. He believes in leading by example and trying his best to condescend to the level of his investigators, so that they will know he cares about them. He plays the surf-guitar and has memorized the entire Book of Martian, including the coded portions!

Elder Schmultz (yellow fur headed) is also a Human-Ape-Creature and is working on his memorization. He is excited about being a missionary. He has a strong testimony.

Martian Religious Relics: the holy hand grenade

The holy hand grenade is a Martian Religious Relic invented by Elder Sorenson and Elder Zeek. When in a trance-projection-vision Elder Sorenson was given instructions from Former President Zorg on how to build it. The outer casing was acquired at a local badwill© thriftstore. The inner workings are of curious workmanship, and immensely powerful.

Although he no longer carries it with him, Elder Sorenson asserts he never used the weapon, claiming to have returned it to President Zorg. However there was a report of an incident where a congregation of Glonks belonging to an apostate-heathen-gentile church were blown up by some sort of explosive device, however when local police asked if he was responsible Elder Sorenson said "I think you must be looking for space johos, people get us confused all the time."

Famous Glonks who are Martian Church members

Did you know, that before he went into has permanent coma from eating psychadelic mushrooms the famous Glonk-Wrapper Artificial Flayve had committed himself to babtizm©? That's right, Arty had called about getting a free Book of Martian after seeing one of our famous heart/oil-pump warming ads on his image-box3.0

You too can have a free Book of Martian, just contact your local Martian Missionaries for details.
See you in the pool of babtizm©! Amen

Famous Glonks who are Martian Church members

Did you know that Slim Greens took the Martian Missionary Discussions once? This up-and-coming surf-guitarist is considered one of Outer-Glonkonia's top potential-musicians, and if he thinks it is cool to think about joining the Church then the Church must be pretty cool, huh kids?
That's right, it IS cool. Much cooler than those other stinky cult/poo-poo religions.
Slim Greens also likes the idea of giving money to help charitable foundations... and guess what is the best charitable foundation?... You guessed it, The Martian Church!
So basically Slim Greens believes in Martianism, so you should too. Amen

Follow the Prophets: Follow the OGSM blog... and be saved!

Right now the Outer-Glonkonia Space Mission is running a special...
Sign on as a follower of this blog and be granted a blessing of limited salvation... even without babtizm©! If you sign on as a follower the Elders of the OGSM will perform an ordinance that will seal you up as their servants/handmaids/droid-slaves, which will effectively make a spot for you wherever they go after death. And since they have received babtizm© and the higher SECRET MARTIAN RITUALS they are guaranteed the fulness of Martian salvation. Pretty cool, eh?

The Great Nizlak Worm

The Great Nizlak Worm is one of the many interesting tourist attractions within the bounderies of the Outer-Glonkonia Space Mission.

The Nizlak Worm Eats Planetoids that it captures with its silk web. Glonk-creatures use Nizlak silk to make a very strong fabric.

Many Missionaries in the OGSM wear Nizlak-silk ties, although some Elders in leadership positions consider it to be false doctrine to wear anything but ties made of Polyastro© fabric; Elder Sorenson being the most outspoken in the anti-nizlak-silk-tie camp.

Faith Promoting Q&A's

Because the last FAQ was tainted by faithless heathen-gentilism, The Outer-Glonkonia Space Mission now presents this more perfect Q&A session to make thine understandings of the true doctrines of martianism more pure and faithfull unto the end.

Q) Aren't heathen-gentiles stupid when they don't listen to the Martian Missionaries, have faith in Martianism, repent of their sins, and be babtized?
A) No, unfortunately the situation is even more dire than that. The truth is that the reason they are not able to see the clear truths of Martianism is because their eyes have been blinded by the Satan-Sneakafüsse©. Their only hope to avoid the blinding influence of Satan-Sneakafüsse© is to read the Book of Martian and ponder it in their hearts, and follow the Martian Prophet, and pay their tithing to the Church.

Q) How much does a Book of Martian cost?
A) We want everyone to have the opportunity to read the Book of Martian. You can have one for free if you contact the Martian Missionaries in your area, listen to their discussions, repent of your sins, be babtized, pay your tithing, and follow the prophet.

Q) Is it true that being a member of the Martian Church makes you more successful?
A) Yes! In fact it makes you better in every way; better looking, make more money, happier family life, and best of all you have the peace of mind knowing that you have all the information you need in life, and you don't need to look anywhere else for answers to any of your questions. Martianism takes care of all of the needs that anybody could possibly want. If you wanted more you would be sinning.

Q) Many false churches that I know of say that Robots don't have souls and so they won't let any robots become members of their false churches. What does The Martian Church teach about Robot Salvation?
A) Everyone who is accountable before the Gods is allowed to join The True Church and be saved, if they will repent and be babtized, pay tithing and follow the Prophet. Robots with hardware/software that is compatable with the Martian Doctrines are welcome to apply for membership. The Prophets have defined accountability as "the ability to earn money, and thereby sin. Necessitating the need to pay tithing." In many star systems there are Robots who are free-agent participants in the economy, have jobs, and make money. Those Robots are certainly in need of salvation, and we actively proslyte them. Additionally there are many robots who are involved in sinful practices, and they have the need to repent, and be babtized. Robot babtizm© is one of the unique principles that is a testament to the veracity of Martianism. Also, many Robots are attracted to the doctrine of babtism© for and in behalf of obsolete Robots that were the precedent/ancestors/prototypes of modern Robots.

Q) What about Anti-Martianism? I've heard that they are just evil and unnaturally mean. Is that correct?
A) Yes, sadly, they are motivated by a soul destroying hatred of everything that is good. They try and come across as though they are happy and sincerely are trying to help you, but deep inside they just want you to be miserable like themselves. The Prophets have told us to stay away from Anti-Martians, especially if they are relatives, because Anti-Martianism is like the Space-Zombie-Plague and is highly contagious.

Q) Thank you for all the really wonderful information. I feel very warm in my abdominal cavity/reactor core and feel that Martianism is true. Can I repent and be babtized?
A) Yes, we would love to have you join The Church of the Martian Saints Incorporated and be saved. Contact the Missionaries in your area; you will be very happy you did. Amen

Counterfeit Religions: Space Johos

Space Johos are a false cult/Poo-poo religion. The try and piggy-back on the popularity of the true Martian Religion by dressing like Martian Missionaries. Space Johos do not use the Book of Martian and instead have their own false and stupid book called the Bibliography, or something stupid like that. They will try and steal our investigators and tell them that the only way to understand their false book is to attach a space brain-sucker-leach to their head.
Sometimes Sentient-creatures/robots will confuse Space Johos with our own true missionaries. The way to tell the difference is that Martian Missionaries wear a name badge that clearly identifies them with The Church of the Martian Saints Incorporated. And if/when Space Johos wear similar name tags, the way to tell the difference is that Martian Missionaries carry the Book of Martian, so always ask to see their Book of Martians.
Do not try and preach to Space Johos! They are some of the lowest of the heathen-gentile-creatures, and have been condemned by the Gods to be thrust into the blackness of the Nizlack-Worm's entrails after the great judgement of the galaxies.
The command from Martian Church HeadQuarters is to slay Space Johos whenever you think you can get away with it. For it has been written "Let their blood, whatever color it may be, be shed. For behold, their abominations have kindled mine anger against them. And lo, I shall be with thee. Amen"

FAQ's

• Q) Where did Martianism com from?
• A) The Great Prophet.

• Q) Why is it called "Martianism?"
• A) The name is derived from the Book of Martian; the book translated from tablets on mars by the Great Prophet by the power of the great Peep-Stone.

• Q) Where did the Great Prophet get the tablets to translate? or, How did the Prophet possess tablets from a planet he never visited?
• A) The translation of the tablets was a great miracle. Because he possessed the great Peep-Stone, The Great Prophet did not need to have the tablets in his literal possession in order to translate. That is how powerful the Peep-Stone is.

• Q) What is the name of The Great Prophet?
• A) His name is too holy to utter, it is also forbidden to make any kind of image of The Great Prophet.

• Q) Whenever I read the Book of Martian, it seems like gibberish to me.
• A) That isn't a question! The Book of Martian seems like gibberish to you unrighteous heathen-gentiles because you have impure eyes.

• Q) Why does the Church of the Martian Saints Incorporated not have any presence on the supposedly holy planet of Mars?
• A) Promised Planet is what we call it. The reason we do not have a presence there is because the Satan-Sneakafüsse© stirred up the hearts of the heathen-gentiles to anger and wrath against the Holy Temple-Pyramid of Cydonia, and the Martian Saints were denied access to Mars.

• Q) Why doesn't the Martian Church prosper as well as the Human/Gaian Confederated Systems?
• A) Because the wicked and abominable Human/Gaian Confederated Systems conspire to keep Martianism down! They have also stolen secrets from the secret coded portions of the Book of Martian and that is where their "scientists" get their ideas.

• Q) Why don't Martian Church members use the secret coded portions of the book of martian to develop their own technological infrastructure?
• A) This Q&A session is over! You are clearly a hard-hearted heathen-gentile-beast of impure, filthy mind/program!

President of the Transitional Regime over OGSM >legitimacy disputed<

"Mission President" >name unknown<, a Mega-Glonk, rules over the OGSM with an iron fist, or would if he had fists. His tenticles were cut off during the "First Great Revolutionary Civil War of Space-Mission Secession" by Elder Sorenson.

Very little is known about him, he tries to preserve an aura of mystery around himself, even his name he keeps secret (based on a misunderstanding of Martian Secret Ritual). It is believed that he was the President of a nukular© arms factory before he presided over the OGSM, but this has not been substantiated.

Following the Sorenson led revolt, very few missionaries remain who are willing to swear The Unbreakable Penalty-Oath-of-Fealty to the Mission President, many opting instead to simply sustain Elder Sorenson as Dictator-Assistant-Beast to the Mission President and follow his lead.

Many Missionaries and regular church members have requested that the Martian Church HeadQuarters send a new Mission President to clean up the schismatic confusion and disputations that are rampant within the OGSM. But few have any hope of a timely solution.

Former President Zorg

Zorg was the beloved President of the OGSM when Elder Sorenson first came into the mission. His untimely demise was very disheartening for the whole mission. But he still visits and guides Elder Sorenson in visions.

Elder Sorenson considers himself to be the rightfull heir to the position of Assistant to the Mission President, and has hostile feelings toward what he considers to be the illegitimate regime that has been established over the mission by the new Mission President.

Glonk Specimen

This is a fairly typical specimen of the type of Glonk-Creatures found in Outer-Glonkonia. The Prophets have told us that the Glonk Species is descended primarily from the apostate brothers of Nelph who's skins were turned green when they left the safety of the Holy Dome that Nelph built when they arrived in the Promised Planet of Mars.
There are no Glonks on Mars anymore because they disappeared miraculously by the power of the Gods, which power was so great as to leave not even the slightest trace they have ever been there. That is also why there appears to be no corroborating evidence to validate the Book of Martian. The Prophets have explained that the reason the Glonks have no history of ever inhabiting Mars, or any other planet in the Human Galaxy, is because the Satan-Sneakafüsse© has completely re-written their history to erase any faith promoting knowledge; As is often the case with Heathen Gentile so-called "history."
Glonks are blessed with a special promise that when they repent and become righteous, and follow all the words of the Prophets perfectly, they will become white-skinned-human-ape-creatures again.

The Book of Martian

The Book of Martian is the cornerstone, keystone, and capstone of The Church of the Martian Saints Incorporated. To many of the Martian faith it is the only book they read, as it contains the fullness of all knowledge of the universe. And the complete mind an will of the Gods.
In their infinate wisdom the Gods told the Great Prophet to keep large portions of the text in a highly sophisticated code that only the Prophet could read when he was translating it from the ancient Martian language into human-speak . Thus the sacred truths would be kept out of the hands of the heathen gentiles, and the words of the book would appear to be gibberish to the unclean eyes of the unrighteous. However, some gentiles still read it in secret, even though they deny it, and thus it is responsible for all the progress ever made in the universe, in fact scientists study it secretly and that is where they get their ideas.

Elders Reptor and Galaxos

Elder Reptor, a Reptilian, is a Zone Leader-Beast in the OGSP.

He is a convert to the church. His first contact with the church was when two human missionaries knocked on his door appearing delicious to the taste and very desirable. Reptor's parents subsequently captured the missionaries and put them in a cage so they could be fattened up in preperation for a heathen Reptilian Cult feast. Reptor, at the time only a youngling, would feed the missionaries and would listen to them as they preached. He believed in there words but was unable to be babtized as the missionaries were eaten. It wouldn't be until much later when Reptor served in the Reptilian Military and was involved in an invasion of a human planet that the opportunity came for Reptor to fulfill his dream of converting to Martianism and serving a mission.

Many species harbor Anti-Reptilian sentiment, and this fact sometimes hinders Elder Reptor's missionary success.

His Junior Companion is Elder Galaxos

Elder Galaxos, a Cyborg >species unknown<, was in a terrible saucer crash as a teenager. The Doctors were only able to save his brain and drool glands (His brain was also moderately damaged, and had to be supplimented with computer chips).

Though not very bright or popular with the other missionaries, Elder Galaxos has a "burning testimony" programmed into his computer chips and is very loving and affectionate; especially to elder Zeek.

Anti-Martian Propaganda lies!

Many Anti-Martian writers lay the claim that the great Prophet of Martianism used Covert Hypnosis, Brainwashing and Mind Control in his design of the Martian Church. They base these ridiculous ideas on the rumor that in his early career, before he recieved the translating Peep-Stone, he attempted to start a business called Cerebra-Clean. Even if this were true, which it cannot be proven to be, the Faithful know without a shadow of a doubt that the Prophet's claims of Divine Inspiration are true, they do not listen to those wicked Anti-Martians who would destroy the mighty Temple-Pyramid of Cydonia. The righteous require no evidence of Martianism other than the sweet and good feelings that they get when they read the Book of Martian and listen to the words of the Prophet.

Heil to the Prophet!

Elder Sorenson and Elder Zeek

Elder Sorenson, an Organic-Human-Ape-Creature, is serving a mission for The Church of the Martian Saints Incorporated in the Outer-Glonkonia Space Mission.

A list of his talents would be too long to list here, but he is arguably best known for:

(1)his skill with the zword©, (2)his fiery wrath, (3)his unquenchable zeal, (4)his remarkably high self-esteem, and (5)his natural ability to project his double into the astral dimensions (a great skill indeed).

He aspires to greatness within the OGSM and indeed in the Martian Church in general, and, to his credit, there are many of his peers who believe him to be "the one mighty and strong".

Elder Sorenson's senior companion is Elder Zeek, an albino Neo-Reptillian (Grey). Zeek is considered by many of his peers to be a religious genius. He specializes in Fringe Deep Doctrine, but rarely has the opportunity to pursue his interests because so much of his time is spent supervising Elder Sorenson. Elder Zeek generally tries to be very supportive of Elder Sorenson, while Sorenson considers Zeek to be slightly incompitent and subsequently often tries to take charge.

The Seal Of The Outer-Glonkonia Space Mission

The great seal of the Outer-Glonkonia Space Mission (OGSM for short). Modelled after the hypocephalus buried with the Mummy of the Prophet Nelph, and translated by the power of the great Peep-Stone. The translation being of such a miraculous nature as to defy the logic of even the most ardent sceptics, who despair when attempting to dissuade the faithful. Amen.

It has begun

I am advancing in my personal evolution, and have now ascended to the level of blogger-ape-creature.